HOW TO ACTUALLY PREPARE YOUR PARTNER FOR LABOR + DELIVERY

Set you and your partner up for success for labor and delivery.

Use the Pain Medications Preference Scale to open the door for conversation with your birth partner.

We prepare our hospital bag, the nursery, even our pets for the arrival of a new baby - but what about our partners? 

As a first time parent, it can be intimidating not only for the woman about to experience birth for the first time but for their birth partner as well. It’s important to open the door for conversation about this topic prior to “go time” to set both of you up for success during your special journey entering motherhood. 

While there are options for birthing classes, sometimes there is a lack of preparation and conversations between the birther and their birthing partner about the role they are expected to play during labor and delivery. A great place to start is by thinking about the type of support that you as the birther envision, knowing that labor and delivery is fluid and things can quickly change.

For example - are you someone who likes a lot of physical touch, or the opposite? If you know you are an affectionate person, it might require your birthing partner to be much more hands on during labor. If you are someone who doesn’t want a lot of physical contact, it’s important to communicate that upfront to avoid annoyance or frustration when enduring contractions.

A great resource we recommend is by Penny Simkin, PT,  a physical therapist who has specialized in childbirth education and labor support since 1968. She has an incredible book called, “The Birth Partner” and within it there’s a chart worth reviewing called,  “Clarifying Your Feelings About Pain and Medications in Childbirth” © Penny Simkin. 

You’ll see on the left-hand side there is a range of numbers that correlate with the feelings and medications that come along with that level of pain. The right-hand column then walks you through how a birthing partner can assist you at each of those corresponding numbers on the scale.

Take a look at the scale and see where you fall! Know that this is SO individualistic and there is no right or wrong.

It can be incredibly helpful for your partner to review too and see if they can commit to providing that level of support associated with your number. If there is misalignment, this is where the conversation about your needs as the birther are SO important. It might mean you need another support person - such as a doula or another family member - to step in and assist you. And this is OK - ultimately, it’s a experience that you want to be prepared for and it’s better to figure out ahead of time if your needs and expectations can be met. 

We hope this information was helpful to you and your partner as you enter into this exciting new chapter of motherhood!

P.S. If you want to make sure you’re physically prepared for labor and delivery, check out our Expecting and Empowered App!
Download source: Maternity Wise website at www.maternitywise.org/mw/topics/pain/